Letting G O

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How do you know when it’s time to let go and move on? Whether it’s letting go of a job, a relationship, hairstyle, etc. Letting go and moving on is hard. It can be extremely painful but at the same time it’s necessary for personal growth. At least in my opinion. I have a history of hanging on for far too long when I should just let go and move on. Anyone else like that? We fight to hang on and we fight to let go. It’s a process. The fear of the unknown terrifies me a bit. Maybe I don’t like change…but I have learned that 9 times out of 10, change is good. We may not realize it at the time, but down the road there’s that “ah ha” moment. The moment where you realize and know why all of that change had to occur in your life. It brought you to the exact moment where you’ve learned more about yourself than you ever thought was possible. I look back at my life in my 20’s and know that all of the shit that went on, the stuff that I thought I could never get over or move on from has only made me so stronger. It has made me aware of who I am as a person. Knowing when to walk away from what is no longer meant for me. It’s a lesson that I needed to learn and understand on my own time.

If someone or something is not helping you grow or be your best, it’s time to move on. I know this sounds extremely simple, but can I just tell you it literally took me about 6 plus years to finally “get it.” I mean, I could not and would not let go. Feel free to ask any of my close friends and family, they’ll tell ya I was beyond stuck when it came to the relationship I had while in my 20’s. Which I’m sure was beyond annoying. Sorry, guys! Afterwards, I carried the baggage into other relationships, never unpacking. I have been open with the fact that sadly, I even carried it into my marriage. I wasn’t really sure how to make it work with someone when I had no clue what I was doing. I just wasn’t happy with myself. It helped that I had someone who wanted to stay awhile and help me “unpack” my bags. I just knew I had to be the one to do the work to improve myself.

When I was in my past relationship, I definitely didn’t know myself at the time or realize that the situation/person was not meant for me. I wasn’t meant for him either. I’m not throwing any blame on the other person, it just wasn’t right for either one of us. I wasn’t helping him be a better person and he wasn’t helping me be a better person. I was completely wrapped up in him that I didn’t know who I was. It was unhealthy. At the time when the relationship really ended for good, I felt like I wouldn’t be able to continue on without him. I truly thought that I had life figured out at the age of 24/25, which was a complete joke. I’m still figuring out life now and I’m 34 years old! Hell, I’m pretty sure I’m always going to be figuring out life no matter how old I am. Walking away and really shutting the door was extremely hard, but I did it…even if I was kicking and screaming most of the time. No balance, just pure chaos. I didn’t need or deserve that in my life and neither did he.

It’s a wonderful feeling to be able to let go, move on, and wish the other person well. It shows strength. It shows growth. Whether it takes you 6 minutes or 16 years, do it on your own time. Don’t let anyone rush you. You, yourself will know when you’re ready. When you do finally let go and move on from whatever or whomever is no longer meant for you, be proud of yourself. I know that road is bumpy as hell but when you reach your destination you will know it’s where you were always meant to be.

As always, thank you for taking the time to read. Be kind to yourself.

-Ange

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